Friday, November 30, 2007

Christmas and some personal stuff

Well I was in a serious card making mood and have busted out several Christmas cards, and of course none of them are the same........LOL Well maybe a few of them are. I'm not really looking forward to Christmas this year, but yet I am. I haven't had a job since the end of Oct. so Christmas for the kids is going to be practically nothing, which for them that really sucks, but there really isn't much I can do. Luckily last year was the last year the boys believed in Santa, (it still makes me sad, but I'm thinking I knew before I was 11) So I had to sit all 3 kids down and explain that there wasn't going to be anything expensive for this christmas, and probably only maybe 2 presents. The boys took it the hardest, my 14 yr. old daughter was really sweet about it, she said she understood, and that there really wasn't much she needed as long as I loved her. Sort of an emotional moment for me. She's growing up so fast. I'm afraid she's going to grow up even fast after the Holiday's because her Dad and I are splitting up after 15 years. The good thing is that both of us want what's best for the kids, and they are our #1 priority. Both John and I want to just get it over with, no fighting or anything, no sense in it. I truly believe that. No, I'm not really upset, it took me a long time to come to this decision, and I know that's what's best for me, and the kids, and even hubby. He isn't happy, and I can't seem to find what makes him happy, and I haven't been happy for a long time. Our divorce will be uncontested, because we really only have to deal with the custody of the kids, and hubby knows they belong with me. He will live close enough so that the kids can go see him whenever they want, and even spend the night with him and still go to school. I think after it's all said and done Hubby and I will be better friends then anything. He wants me to be happy, and vice versa. Hubby pretty much watched me grow up, we got married when I had just turned 20 and then I was pregnant while I was turning 21. I think me being so young had a lot to do with things, I had so much to learn and to grow, that I did that while we were married, through all the serious health issues that hubby went through (cancer), through moving clear across the country away from all of my family. I have become a stronger person because of all of it, and I have finally grown up, I even know what I want to do, you know they say you need to know what you want to do when you went to college, well I never knew, and dropped out. So here I am 35 and going to go back to school to become a Physical Therapist assistant. I'm truly excited, and I have faith that everything is going to be a better brighter life. I know many divorcee's are thinking I'm just in a dream world, but hubby is a great guy, just not the guy for me, but he will take care of his children and that's what is important. The kids need their dad, and that's why I have no intention of moving back home, I moved here because I believed that the kids needed, and deserved to have their dad, and I still believe that. Hubby and I will both be better people and parents after all is said and done, and we will be able to focus on helping the kids through this. A little more then you bargained for I'm sure when you came to see what I was up too..............LOL Sorry about that. Thanks to all of you who have been here for me.
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Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Here's the first card I made after I got use to not working and being home. I think it looks a lot better in person, I'm still working on that photo taking thing. It took forever for me to finish this card, walking away several times, for hours at a time, even a day.......LOL I'm not quite sure what my problem was, but I do really like how it turned out. It was at least a starting point, because I have been doing just some all occassion cards, plus some Christmas cards............That just shocks me, but really I can't believe how fast it seems that 2007 has flown by, in just 6 1/2 weeks 2008 will be here. I remember when I was in Jr. High and High school even, it just seemed like the year 2000 was a million years away, and here it will be 2008. It just seems so bizarre. Not only that, a girlfriend and I were talking about our kids the other day and some how or another we got on the subject about them turning 18, I can't believe that I only have 7 more years before all my babies are 18..................what???? That just doesn't seem right. I'll be 42 and hopefully all 3 of my kiddos will be in college. Geez, I won't know what to do with myself, half the time I don't even know what to do with myself having the house empty during the day while they are all at school. I can honestly say I don't think my house has ever been cleaner since I had my daughter, and boy the laundry is caught up daily..............Amazing! LOL
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A picture of my beautiful 14 yr. old

Last weekend John and the boys went to John's college for a rival football game that is tradition, and it just happened to be the same day as the Archiver's make and take. So I decided that Payton and I would spend a day together. She wanted to do one of the projects at Archiver's, and she even used her own money. When she was all done she gave it to me, saying she was making for me all along. But before we headed to the LSS, we stopped off at a local spot that has some wonderful trees, turning all their fall covers, and I wanted to get some pictures. I had intended to take the boys on Sunday but just my luck it was pouring down rain. Hopefully I'll be able to find another spot with some leaves left, especially since it's been in the upper 60's the last couple of days. I just can't believe that Payton is 14, it seems like it was just yesterday that she was in elementary school, and now we're almost half way through 8th grade, and she'll be a freshman. The good thing for me is that at least I don't feel old. LOL Payton did take the camera for a few, and she actually got a few good shots of me, which I was surprised since I never seem to take good pictures, but of course you won't be seeing any of those one here. Lots has changed since I posted last, I lost my job the day before Halloween, I won't go into what happend because it just makes me cry everytime I think or talk about it still. I will admit though that it has been nice being home with an empty house, so much less stress. It's definitely been good for me, I think my job had a lot to do with my stress, and anxiety I had going on, but I still loved loved loved my job. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for my unemployment, because at least if I get that, I can stay home until after the holidays. Oh what a joy that would be for me. Also since I've been home, I have been dieting, which is usually the total opposite of what I would be doing (Usually I'd be eating like crazy) but instead I have managed to loose 15lbs, so far, so I'm shooting for about 20 more. I try to get on the treadmill every other day, and do at least 50 crunches. I ran 1/2 mile today and walked 3/4 of a mile on an incline, so I was pretty impressed with myself...........LOL Well that's the Hensley house update..........on to another post with an actual card in it! Amazing I know~
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