Friday, November 30, 2007

Christmas and some personal stuff

Well I was in a serious card making mood and have busted out several Christmas cards, and of course none of them are the same........LOL Well maybe a few of them are. I'm not really looking forward to Christmas this year, but yet I am. I haven't had a job since the end of Oct. so Christmas for the kids is going to be practically nothing, which for them that really sucks, but there really isn't much I can do. Luckily last year was the last year the boys believed in Santa, (it still makes me sad, but I'm thinking I knew before I was 11) So I had to sit all 3 kids down and explain that there wasn't going to be anything expensive for this christmas, and probably only maybe 2 presents. The boys took it the hardest, my 14 yr. old daughter was really sweet about it, she said she understood, and that there really wasn't much she needed as long as I loved her. Sort of an emotional moment for me. She's growing up so fast. I'm afraid she's going to grow up even fast after the Holiday's because her Dad and I are splitting up after 15 years. The good thing is that both of us want what's best for the kids, and they are our #1 priority. Both John and I want to just get it over with, no fighting or anything, no sense in it. I truly believe that. No, I'm not really upset, it took me a long time to come to this decision, and I know that's what's best for me, and the kids, and even hubby. He isn't happy, and I can't seem to find what makes him happy, and I haven't been happy for a long time. Our divorce will be uncontested, because we really only have to deal with the custody of the kids, and hubby knows they belong with me. He will live close enough so that the kids can go see him whenever they want, and even spend the night with him and still go to school. I think after it's all said and done Hubby and I will be better friends then anything. He wants me to be happy, and vice versa. Hubby pretty much watched me grow up, we got married when I had just turned 20 and then I was pregnant while I was turning 21. I think me being so young had a lot to do with things, I had so much to learn and to grow, that I did that while we were married, through all the serious health issues that hubby went through (cancer), through moving clear across the country away from all of my family. I have become a stronger person because of all of it, and I have finally grown up, I even know what I want to do, you know they say you need to know what you want to do when you went to college, well I never knew, and dropped out. So here I am 35 and going to go back to school to become a Physical Therapist assistant. I'm truly excited, and I have faith that everything is going to be a better brighter life. I know many divorcee's are thinking I'm just in a dream world, but hubby is a great guy, just not the guy for me, but he will take care of his children and that's what is important. The kids need their dad, and that's why I have no intention of moving back home, I moved here because I believed that the kids needed, and deserved to have their dad, and I still believe that. Hubby and I will both be better people and parents after all is said and done, and we will be able to focus on helping the kids through this. A little more then you bargained for I'm sure when you came to see what I was up too..............LOL Sorry about that. Thanks to all of you who have been here for me.
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Chris Scrappin and Stampin in Texas said...

My heart is going out to you and your family. As you know I went through a divorce after 17 1/2 years, and it was hard. But I too went back to school to finish up. (I quit as a Senior in college) and got a job, for the first time since my kids were born. It has been a major lifestyle change since I am not there after school, which is very hard for me. My parents live in the next town and have been a tremendous help. It sounds like you and your husband want whats best for the kids. I am here for you.Feel free to call anytime. I gave you my numbers in the email. Hugs & continued support!!! Chris

Anonymous said...

This is the first time I have come to your blog. I am sorry for your hardships at this time but you seem to have a good handle on them and your outlook is inspiring. I read that your son is bipolar. I am too. The stability part is what is not working for me. I am 46 and just been switched over from depression to bipolar as a diagnoses. I am now going to wander the rest of your site to look at your stamping stuff. Good luck and prayers for your future.

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