Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Long time no update

I'm sorry that it has been so long since I have posted anything, it's been a rough last week or so. This post will go the personal direction so if you aren't interested, you no longer need to read..............It won't hurt my feelings I promise.
I have had a battery of testing done over the last week or so. A little background first. I have 3 kids, 13, and 10 yr. old twin boys. Life is crazy as any working parent would know. No time for Dr. visits etc.

Well it was time for my yearly exam. Pap came back fine, Dr. recommended I get a baseline mammogram, especially with family history, also have a vaginal ultrasound done because I have been having so many problems with my menstrual cycle for so long. No biggie. Things get put off again, so that I can support hubby through his Gastric Bypass surgery.

So spring break comes I schedule all said appts. I get a call back on my mammogram..........go take more pictures, they tell me something looks suspicious......ok a little worried, but can still handle it.........after many more pictures, I take a trek down to said office, Dr. tells me he wants a biopsy done........Ok really getting stressed (breast cancer runs rampid on my paternal side.) Got the call today that some of the lump is clean but some of it is pre-cancerous..............Oh how those words just sit in the pit of your stomach.

Now this is all after I went to see a gynecologist because the ultrasound came back with some questionable lumps and bumps. Gynecologist fears that one said tumor is probably precancerous also. OK well were just off and running. I ask if it is just possible to biopsy said tumor.........well evidently it is pushed through my uterus...too far up in my stomach area......if biopsied, they would have to go in through my stomach, so once again with said history (mother had cancer and had hysterectomy the same age I am now.) Dr. suggests hysterectomy.........because why cut through my stomach and then have to go back in when biopsy comes back. I will have to have an abdominal hysterectomy, because my uterus is double if not almost triple the size of a normal one and very bulky. So this all being said, mind you I have never had a single surgery done in my life..........delivered all 3 kiddos natural and vaginally. I will have to be cut open from hip bone to hip bone for this surgery, and also hoping to have the lump removed from my breast during the same surgery.

I will be out of work for at least 6 weeks which takes me through the end of the school year, (I work as a teacher's aide in a special needs preschool. So there goes my job for the rest of the year......................I'm so sorry I'm rambling, I'm just a bit terrified to say the least. My whole family and Best friend lives in WA state, and it's not an option for them to come out because my mom works in a school and they are coming in June for my brothers wedding already. My Best bud works for a school also, and just bought their house ( Congrats by the way!!!) So I'm feeling rather alone and really dumped on.

My life hasn't been a walk in the park but then again who's has been really.............I have taken care of hubby for the last 9 years of our marriage because he has melanoma, and it's stage 4 (but his last treatment put him into remission, thank goodness). Then throw in my one son who was diagnosed as Bipolar during the last 6 months..........I have a teenage daughter, need I say more? LOL

Oh how I wonder whatever on earth I have done to deserve all of this, some days I feel like just screaming at the top of my lungs. I try to sit and stamp, but it just seems too quiet and my mind wonders to all the what if's etc. I just can't seem to focus on any one thing and take my mind off all of these health problems.

So in a nutshell (A big nutshell I might add! LOL) that is where my life stands. I don't have a date for the surgery because I'm waiting to hear back from the Dr. with an appt. with a breast Specialist and then they will schedule the appt for both of the surgeries.

I have a few things that I really need to take care of before I do the surgeries, I have a special friend box that needs to get out (from a swap I joined over at SCS), I have to make sure that my kids will have transportation to all of their events, cheer-leading, baseball, etc, while I'm down, and I'm sure there are a few other things I'm forgetting. So for now.......I'm off my excedrin PM is calling my name in hopes that I will maybe get a few moments of shut eye, very very much needed I might add!


Jan Scholl said...

It sounds to me like you have fribroids. you no longer have to do a hysterectomy for those-there are many options avaiable to you that I didnt have 10 years ago. Get a second opinion . I wish I had.

Jan Scholl said...

Before I forget again---- I had other problems like endo too-but again, there were better ways. I have problems caused by the surgery that I would not have had if I had been offered other choices. email me If you need to-just be well informed and you can dump on me anytime you need to-I am on late at night.

Kathy McD said...

Gosh sorry to read of all your troubles! I am just down the street from you (Gray Road & Southport Rd) so please let me know how I can help! Email me!

Nancy said...

You know what.... take a pillow, put it over your face and SCREAM for as long as you want. It might make you feel a bit better!

And know that there's a HUG here for ya!

Paula said...

Just wanted to send you a {{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}.

sentimentsbydenise said...

I'm from Indy, too. You have neighbors here who support you!. I agree with Jan about getting a second opinion. It's vital that you have ALL the facts so you can make the best decision for YOU. Do not allow a doctor to dictate what needs to be done to you - your body, your decision. Just be as informed as you can be!
I know a naturopathic doctor who can guide you in getting the right tests done and offer some suggestions.
I'm a breast cancer survivor myself and have also experienced some of the other things you have mentioned.
I realized you are overwhelmed right now. Take a deep breath and concentrate on what needs to be done - don't feel bad about asking for help either. That's what friends are for.
Feel free to email me if you wish. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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